Final File_31

July in review.

July was long and it was good. I was busy without losing sight of my routine and sometime mid-month my mindset shifted and I suddenly became serious and goal-oriented through no real effort of my own. As they say, I locked in. Then I started scrolling too much, which is where I am now, and I’m trying to free myself of the loop, which doesn’t bring me happiness or gratification but I do it anyway. The answer to this, at least for me, is to engage with the outside world more rigorously, so I’m recommitting to seeing movies and art regularly. I’m also planning to go for long walks, see more friends, read my many (many) books and put my phone away until 11 AM. At least I’ll try to.

As for announcements, on August 11th, I’ll be on a Hinge x Dazed panel for the latest edition of No Other Love. Tickets are free—link here. Then, on August 29th, I’m moderating the capstone panel at the Brooklyn Public Library Summer Reading Closing Festival. The panel, Portraits of Summer, centers around the question what makes Brooklyn summers unique? After what many of us will likely cite as the best summer of our lives I’m excited to reflect on this with writers I admire. It’s free to attend, you’ll just need to register.

Anyway. Onto the post!

Notes from July

• I started July in a pool, which felt correct. Jade and Nicole hosted a party at Nicole’s family’s house, which happened to fall on one of the hottest days of the year. 30 or so of us spent the day floating around with inflatable pool noodles and toys, eating grilled food. There was a red snapper that changed my life and white rice I can’t stop thinking about (Nicole’s mom makes the best white rice on the planet). C found her way to the grill (unsurprising) and made friends with Nicole’s dad (also unsurprising). Late in the afternoon, the sky suddenly turned dark and the trees started to shake. Shortly after the sky opened up, at which point we fled the pool for inside. Then the lights went out. Typically, this would spell the end of any party but instead we turned on ‘Summer Rain’ by Carl Thomas, used our phone’s flashlights to see and sang at the top of our lungs. Then the shots came out and the grill was turned back on. Eventually, we all got back in the pool where we stayed until midnight. It was so so perfect, C has spent the past few weeks trying to convince them to do it again.

  

  Will read at the function

• The next day, we met back up with Jade and Nicole and went to another cookout hosted by someone who was at the party the night before. I love synergies like that. It was the fourth so Brooklyn was lit up with fireworks. I witnessed at least a dozen small explosions. A dozen showers of light. After, we went to 333 Lounge in Brooklyn, where we smoked hookah (a rarity for me) and I ordered fish and chips (would not recommend).

• Monday, I met up with Alex for breakfast at Sal & Cookie’s. The food was decent and the decor reminds me a bit of a sitcom set. We’re considering making it our go-to spot. After, Alex talked me into a walk (she loves to walk). We stopped in at Greenlight, where I convinced her to buy a copy of Gathering Blossoms Under Fire. I bought nothing, exhibiting an impressive show of restraint.

• The following week, I got to see The Whoopi Monologues during previews thanks to Jet. It’s a restaging of Whoopi’s one-woman show, this time with Kerry Washington, Kara Young, Dominique Fishback, Danielle Pinnock and Kecia Lewis. It reminded me of for colored girls, mostly because it’s polyphonic and engaging with different versions of womanhood with a healthy dose of trauma. It’s on at the Mitzi Newhouse theater until the end of this month. If you go see it, I’d love to discuss. I’d also recommend reading Doreen St. Felix’s review of it for The New Yorker, which is sharp and brilliant.

• I went to the paperback release of Lonely Crowds at McNally Jackson, which was moderated by Thelma Golden. After, I caught up with Thelma (who I previously took on a book date!). She told me that Toni Morrison once had a book party at The Studio Museum (iconic) and I recommended some books to her—Gathering Blossoms Under Fire (ofc), and Good Morning Means I Love You by Kendra Allen, which I’m reading with my book club. She was also wearing an incredible tote, which is perfect for books. Her exact colorway is sold out, but the cobalt blue one is still available.

• My friends have been saying the sweetest things lately, which I’ve been memorializing with screenshots. A little digital archive if you will. My friends are some of the greatest loves of my life and I’m grateful we tell each other that often.

• My youngest cat Dakota does this thing when she wants me to pet her where she meows and then places her paw on my arm. It’s polite but also makes me feel like she’s Oliver Twist.

• I went on a reading retreat with Page Break sponsored by Warby Parker. Over two days we read Waist Deep by Linea Maja Ernst, which follows a group of friends who spend a week in the woods after many years of being apart. We stayed in a mansion in Germantown, where we spent our days reading by the pool and overlooking the lake. Our dinners were prepared by a chef who used to work at Lilia and has since left to start her own business. The food was (unsurprisingly) divine. There was endless wine and incredible company. The sunsets were insane, the weather was perfect. I also felt very fancy because Audi loaned me a car for the weekend, which I loved. I had the best time.

  

  The view was insane

• That Sunday was Yaminah’s birthday so I met her at Pastis, her favorite restaurant. We ordered lobster frites (a revelation) and then I drove her home in the very fancy Audi, which we both enjoyed.

• I got to see Shifters thanks to Sandrine. The play is about estranged lover-friends who see each other after the passing of one’s grandmother. It explores reconnection, trauma, first loves, and the concept of the one who got away. I liked it! I’m in the minority here, as everyone I know who has seen it adored it. If you see it (or have seen it), I’d be curious to see where you land. After, a group comprised of C, Doreen, Sarayah, Telsha (who I serendipitously ran into!) and Genesis went to dinner at Wild Cherry thanks to Doreen’s friend. After, C and I got Insomnia cookies, which made my night.

• I had a perfect day recently. I woke up, worked out, worked a little, then met my friend Carmyn who was in town from LA. We had lunch at Fish Cheeks, one of my favorite spots. We ate crab two ways—aob woon sen and crab fried rice, both of which are essential, and branzino. After, I got an hour-long massage at Spencer’s, then ice cream from Coldstone’s. To end the night, I had a late dinner with Jet at Bong, where we gossiped and giggled until midnight.

• I saw Jill Scott at the King’s Theatre with Allie, which I wrote about. Jill makes me feel possible and I’m grateful to have grown up with her music soundtracking my life.

  

  What I wore!

• C and I went on a double date with Jazmine and Jo to the Liberty v. Chicago Sky game. J&J were our seatmates at the Josie Club dinner back in June so I was thrilled that the plans we tossed out a the end of the night made it out of the group chat. We had incredible seats. The game started out alright but then it got good. By the end we were jumping up and down because there was a series of exhilarating plays. The Liberty won by one. After, we went to Fritz, a bar a couple blocks over, which had just-okay service but would be perfect for a date where you wanted the waitstaff to leave y’all alone for a bit.

• The next day, I was on Ira Madison III’s podcast, Feedback, with Brendon Holder. It was lots of fun. That’ll be out soon.

• We went over to Jade and Nicole’s for a movie night. C cooked for us—she grilled ribs, lobster, steak and corn—and we watched Married at First Sight, which I’m now hooked on.

• A few months ago, Madison M.’s then-girlfriend, now fiancé (!!) DMed C to tell her she was planning to propose and wanted us there. Fast forward to two Saturdays ago, we flew to Charlotte to surprise Madison. We hopped on the first flight of the day and turned off our locations. Then we hid out in a restaurant with Madison’s family and friends until we were cued to appear. She was shocked! Later, she asked how we managed to keep a secret from her for so long, especially me because I tell her everything (though I will lie for a good cause). It was beautiful to witness her take this next step with her person. When they first started dating, I told her that would be her wife and two years later, here we are!

  

  Big fiancé!

• Another highlight of Charlotte: our hotel was across from Romare Bearden park, where there was a free Natasha Bedingfield concert happening. We caught the last half of Unwritten, which made my year.

• I’m grateful for intellectual playmates. I have lots of these, thankfully—people who think deeply and talk to me about the books they’re reading and the questions they’re circling. They sharpen my perspective and encourage me to stay curious and open. Thanks to them, there’s no shortage of books to read and shows to go see and movies to watch and PDFs to download.

• At the end of the month, I went to Chicago for 22 hours to perform my short story ‘They’ll Talk About Us Plenty’ alongside Ivy Sole, who composed a soundscape to go with the piece. I got to meet my fellow contributors, whose work is also brilliant, and meet jazz musicians I’ve long admired. The event was at the Stony Island Arts Bank, which has an incredible installation on right now. It also houses the Johnson family’s archive, a double-height library filled with seminal Black texts. It’s stunning. Worth it if you’re visiting the area. My trip was super short so there were so many places I didn’t get to visit, but now I’m excited to go back.

  

  How cute is Camille!!!

• On the very last day of the month, I met up with Asiah for dinner. We went to Birds of a Feather (of course) where we ordered our usual and caught up. We get together once every six months and every time we promise to do it more often. Maybe this year we’ll be different.

Reading

Waist Deep by Linea Maja Ernst

I read this during the retreat. It follows a college friend group who reunite after years of being apart. Even though they consider themselves close friends, they no longer do life together and so the reunion is part catch up and part nostalgia play. It’s a sort-of retelling of a Midsummer’s Night Dream, which I thought was interesting, but this didn’t end up working for me.

Gathering Blossoms Under Fire by Alice Walker

I finished this shortly after the retreat. The back half of Walker’s journals are really fascinating. She falls in love with Tracy Chapman, who she considers the big love of her life. Their bond is really special, though it doesn’t last, and we see Alice become a true romantic in a way she doesn’t exactly exhibit again. For example, she loves the color of Tracy’s skin so she buys sheets she thinks will look nice against it (romantic!!). She takes real pleasure in witnessing Tracy, who she sees as a true equal. Lots of her other romantic relationships have a structural imbalance. Often it’s financial. With Tracy, they come together with similar levels of wealth and similar commitments to their craft, which informs the version of herself Alice is able to access. It’s fascinating how power shapes love for Walker. Outside of her romantic concerns, though this shapes much of Alice’s life—she’s never really single—we get to see her transition from being an emerging writer to an established one, where she’s comfortably positioned within the zeitgeist. Her concerns change and what would’ve once been exciting to her is now deeply ordinary: the money, the packed out lecture halls, the houses. It’s interesting to think about what becomes normal to us, and reminds me to take stock of the things I’ve accomplished even as I complain about how much further along I’d like to be.

Pure Men by Mohamed Mbougar Sarr

This book is also, in a way, about power. Pure Men is an earlier work of Sarr’s, translated into English after the success of his most recently written novel, The Most Secret Memory of Men. Pure Men follows a professor who starts spiraling after he witnesses a video of a man, suspected to be gay, is dug up from his grave in a Muslim cemetery. This troubles the main character. The novel tracks his psychological journey as he contends with his place in this society, which demands a performance of homophobia to prove one’s heterosexuality. It’s as interesting a philosophical experiment as it is a novel. I appreciate what it does with silence and the sort-of open ended questions it asks about grief and bearing witness. It unsettled me but I also couldn’t put it down, which is the hallmark of a novel that sticks ith you long after you read it.

Watching

My screen time has been way up and I’ve watched very little!

Mecca needs sooooo much therapy but I think there’s potential!

Sheep Detectives - This is a murder mystery about a flock of sheep who try to solve the mysterious death of their shepherd. It’s a cute film. So cute I didn’t mind the very obvious plot.

Married at First Sight - As I said earlier, I started watching this while we were at Jade and Nicole’s. I’d seen the clips floating around Instagram so I was curious how things came together. I’m pretty indifferent to the dating shows, but of the bunch, Married at First Sight manages to hold my attention in the way others, like Love Is Blind, do not. I’m really invested in this season. During any given episode I change my mind about who’s going to say yes in the end. I’m holding out hope that the young Black couple, Béllejolie and Mecca, can get it together even though problems abound.

72 Hours - Started out kind of funny and then got really bad. Would not recommend.

Two Can Play That Game - I rewatched this because Yaminah said she once watched it a bunch of times in a 48 hour span. It still holds up. Vivica Fox looks incredible in this. I love every angle of her face. The movie follows a woman named Shanté (played by Vivica Fox) who seems to have it all. She has the big job, a group of girlfriends who admire her and treat her like a dating guru, and a boyfriend who absolutely adores her. All this is complicated when she sees her boyfriend, Keith (played by Morris Chestnut), appearing to entertain another woman. This punctures Shanté’s self-conception and over the course of the movie, we witness the strategies she employs to keep herself safe yield a different result. It deftly explores ego, vulnerability and the ways love stretches us. I enjoyed it!

Set It Off - Could’ve also been a movie about suing that incompetent ass police department. Instead, it’s one of the best heist films of all time. One thing I really like about it is how the system limits choice and pushes people to extremes. Cleo and Ursula continue to be an iconic pairing—I’m almost positive this movie was part of my gay awakening as a preteen.

Wish List

• I’m always on the hunt for a good dress. A couple I’ve saved. This cobalt blue situation, this strapless chartreuse dress, and this light blue one.

• A pair of Okabashi flip flops and a pair of Archies flip flops, both because of articles I read on The Strategist

• I love this flatweave rug from the new Pierce & Ward collection at West Elm

• I saw a woman carrying an extra large Longchamp in the airport and decided I need one too. The only con is that the straps are short so I can’t put it over my shoulder

• These purple Reformation sandals

• A house upstate for a week or so with all my friends

• The Rollins bookcase from Room and Board, which I think would be perfect in my bedroom.

Expense Report

Obsessed with these braids!

• A bunch of ASOS stuff that’s going back

• $200 on braids at Blackshere Beauty (worth it!)

• $125 on a fresh set

• $100 on a lash fill (I’m back to lash extensions and while I couldn’t be happier, they’re expensive)

• $244 on Liberty tickets

• $421 for a night at the Study in Chicago (incl. room service and carrot cake)

• $92 at Birds of a Feather

Until next time!

Key to my heart