Final File_26
February in review.
February felt lighter because I adopted the mantra of attending to the important things and letting the rest work itself out. It resulted in a busy month but a smooth one. I went on vacation, read a little of a lot of different books, got my screen time down (spoiler: it’s back up again bc, war) and got to spend some quality time with C. We tried a new biscuit flavor that I’m obsessed with—raspberry and white chocolate—ate at home a lot and I spent a lot of time in the gym consistently. All in all it was good.
Onto the post!
Notes from February
At the top of the month, C and I turned 12. We spent our anniversary cuddled up and looking at each other, sort of in awe that we’ve spent so many years loving each other. I’m grateful to every version of us for choosing each other.
C asks me to be her Valentine every year with a different papercraft. This year, she made a card with a little bouquet. It’s one of my favorite traditions.
Allie surprised me and C with Magnolia’s on her way home from work. My friends know how much I love their carrot cake (it’s currently my favorite in New York) so it was incredibly thoughtful and a fun surprise. That night I ordered dinner from a nearby chicken spot and we watched Seeking Amish, which follows a group of people who decide to become Amish because they’re interested in leaving the secular world, which, for various reasons, doesn’t suit them. More on that later.
We went to dinner at Roman’s with Madison and Lex. The food was out of this world. I’m still thinking about that pasta.
Citrus was good this month so I had lots of yummy oranges. Every time I mention oranges to my mom she reminds me that she ate lots of them when she carried me so I like to think that I’ve been on this for my whole life.
Went on two book dates this month. Both with writers I deeply admire. The second was with Tayari Jones, which you can read here.
Mal was in town so she stopped by the apartment. We did lunch at Queen’s Room because she was craving pancakes.They make a decent one along with an excellent biscuit—it’s my favorite biscuit besides ours. I always end up ordering the kale salad with salmon, which is reliably good. We caught up on life and I nudged her on moving back to New York because I can’t imagine a summer where I don’t run into her.
The latest addition to our name wall <3 Telsha was in town for fashion week so her, Yaminah and I got together for dinner. We went to Lovely Day, a Thai spot on the Lower East Side that was populated with groups celebrating things. It was the perfect environment to catch up—we ate ginger fried chicken and french fries, drank wine, and chatted until they started folding up the chairs. It came exactly when I needed it and I can’t wait for us to do it all again.
On Valentine’s Day, we went to Celia’s standup comedy show at UCB. She did great! That next morning we left for Jamaica, where we spent six days laying out and eating until we were full. We stayed at the adults-only side of Princess, an all-inclusive resort near Green Island, a little over 20 minutes from Negril. It was our first time doing one. C has always been curious, and while we wouldn’t do it again (it’s too smooth and buffered, I prefer something a hotel that’s a bit more boutique and lowkey) I’m glad we did. We agreed that we would go back with family because it’s perfect for big groups and that when we go back to Jamaica we’d want to stay at Rockhouse or Strawberry Hill. We didn’t get off the resort much but the one time we did, it was to hang out with Alex and Alena. Our dates happened to overlap so we met at Skylark, a sort-of halfway point between our hotels. We spent the afternoon laid out on Seven Mile Beach, doing shots, swimming in the rain and eating codfish fritters. As the sun set, we were a mess of limbs laying on a pool float, watching the sun sink into the sea. It was perfect.
Some snaps from a perfect week Allie brought me and C Valentine’s Day gifts—cards with our favorite candy. It was very sweet!
The day after we got back from Jamaica, I met up with Tahirah and we went to the Issey sample sale. We spent hours trying on everything in our size (I bought a set) before heading down the street for lunch at Frenchette. Tahirah and I talk near-daily and rarely hang out in person but have vowed to change that this year.
My aunt was in town so after lunch I met her at her hotel in Midtown. She wanted to see a jazz show while in town—this has kind of become our thing—so we tried to catch a show at Tomi Jazz but the line was around the block. Not in the mood to wait, I brought her back to her hotel and we ended up talking in the car for hours. There were many tangents, but one in particular that’s stayed with me and since been synthesized with my dad, is the Black church’s potential to be a cultural institution amid the collapse of our institutions. I’ll say more on that later—perhaps Good conversations I had last week part two—but we also touched on the need for Black people to rethink our value systems. If we know that the capitalist death machine is built atop our bodies and requires our death and annihilation to function, then we shouldn’t be importing those very same values into our communities and calling it success. Just a thought.
An author I’m friendly with has sent me a selection of Heated Rivalry fanfiction, so working my way through that.
My friend Sophia designed the Black History Month jersey for the Women’s Hockey team and they had her do the puck drop at the beginning of the game. C and I went and had an incredible time. It also sparked the thought that lots of games can be broken down into a few categories. Most are a game of keep-away with varying numbers of players and perhaps more importantly, kind of feel like versions of lacrosse.
The Sirens play at the Prudential Center in Newark so after we went to Tops Diner because we were too close not to. We split wings and mozzarella sticks and I got a four-pack of oatmeal raisin cookies to go (I’m still in a phase).
A few days later I had lunch with Jet at Dumbo House, which I haven’t been to in many moons. We yapped for hours and talked about the novel. She asked me some incredible questions about the novel. Her ability to hear words and their intention is stunning to me, she listens so carefully and responds so thoughtfully. I’m grateful whenever she lends me some brain space and offers feedback.
Extracurricular was mentioned in Cultured Magazine’s The Substack Stars article by Sasha Bonét—a writer I admire and a person I adore. I’m thrilled to be in such good company.
Reading
I read one book this month, I Hope You Find What You’re Looking For, which I read with book club. More on that in the next send.
Watching
Less than usual!
Hamnet - Carrie reminded me that we went to see this in December but something about going to a movie theater erases the thing from my memory. I’m totally immersed in the experience that after I forget to comment or write my thoughts down. With that said, I didn’t like Hamnet, though I think everyone in it is talented at what they do. The child actor was brilliant. I also liked the characterization of the wife, played by the incredible Jesse Buckley—who comes to regret her amenability which evolves into contempt. But ultimately it felt like a serious movie that desires seriousness, constructed explicitly to elicit feeling and awards. There was nothing surprising about it and the play went on for entirely too long. When the movie ended and we left the theater, I looked at Carrie and said, well it was a movie—and she agreed.
Suddenly Amish - This is the latest in TLCs spate of conservative reality television, which highlights strict and secretive religious communities. The Amish isn’t new terrain for the network, but previously it was about young Amish people escaping or subverting their norms to become more secular and now it’s the other way around with disillusioned young people yearning for structure. The show is campy and insane and admittedly entertaining but the entertainment value elides the larger implications, which is that a strict patriarchal structure will offer us safe harbor, though we know that isn’t the truth at all.
Ella McCay - This movie, which came out last year and is only very recently on streaming, is about a girl who becomes her state’s governor. It’s a comedy but it isn’t funny. At the end I thought that the film was insane and not in a good way. It’s clunky and the husband was randomly evil in the end. The soundtrack reminded me of Daddy Day Care or a Disney Channel original movie with a far worse plot and script.
The Night Manager - I watched season two in February which I preferred to season one. It takes place five years into the future, where our night manager is on a new assignment in Colombia where he ends up on a collision course with a young arms dealer starting a counterinsurgent army of child soldiers. It’s good for lots of reasons but there’s some gay energy happening which immediately made it more compelling.
Steal - This heist thriller made very little sense but it was a decent watch.
National Treasure - I loved this movie as a kid, but watching it now against the backdrop of—gestures widely—changes the tone. Now, it feels like self serious science fiction that valorizes a society constructed on civility so long as you don’t open the cabinets and drawers.
Splitsville - Watching this was my first time believing in the notion of Dakota Johnson. Critics claim that she’s talented but I just haven’t seen examples of that being true until watching Splitsville, where I thought, maybe she has been miscast. I really enjoyed this because it plays nicely with my idea that we shouldn’t dispose of the people we love even if it requires some reworking of the relationship. It also defined, quite clearly, what today’s comedy can look like. It’s somewhere between absurdist stuff like The Chair Company and Bugonia and the slapstick comedy of the early 2000s. It’s more restrained, and while there are elements of physical comedy, so much of it is situational and a matter of timing, so in that way it’s classic too.
You’ve Got Mail - My brain is too switched on for this. The funniest part of the movie was that random lady being in love with Franco, the dictator. I laughed out loud. More and more, the protagonists of films like this, where they fall in love with corporate cronies who are unambiguously evil, just feel like the blueprint for how these women start out liberal and quietly descend into right wing talking points and stumping for Cuomo. I also watched Two Weeks Notice, which feels like it circles a similar drain but with a more moral protagonist.
Queen of Chess - Judit Polgar is incredibly cool.
A Mighty Wind - This mockumentary is about 1960s folk musicians who reunite for a tribute concert at Carnegie Hall. It’s very funny and stars Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara—¸RIP.
The Burbs - I feel like I didn’t hear about this show enough. I really loved this series about a new mother who moves back to his suburban home town from the city, only to learn that there’s plenty of drama and hijinks in the safest town in America. Keke Palmer is fun in this and I love a motley band of armchair detectives. It also stars RJ Cyler, who is one of my favorite actors right now–I want to see him in more shows!
I Know This Much is True — This show is a series of extremely unfortunate events. It follows twin brothers, both played by Mark Ruffalo, who have had a traumatic childhood. Both grow up grappling with their past but to differing effects. One has severe mental illness and the other, a quick temper. It is incredibly well done and also gutwrenchingly sad. It’s a good watch but it requires the right headspace.
A Fish Named Wanda - As you know I love a heist movie and this is a classic. This one is about a band of thieves who pull off a diamond heist and spend the rest of the film trying to outsmart and deceive each other. It’s funny and insane.
Cross - Season two is remarkably bad.
56 Days - This show is the epitome of a meeting that could have been an email.
Hanging Up - I was in the mood for a Nora Ephron film so I decided to watch Hanging Up. It’s a moving portrait of sisterhood, grief and how families handle that sort of of thing. It stars Diane Keaton, Meg Ryan and Lisa Kudrow, an incredible trio.
Traitors UK - UK is superior in every way to the US version. At this point I’m petitioning for the US version to be abolished. This season in particular was a real treat. I didn’t think season two of UK could be topped but this one somehow achieved it. Brilliant gameplay throughout.
In Heavy Rotation
A new rubric to encompass the things I used the most this month
Dior Lip Oil - I’ve always been curious about this lip oil, which went viral a few years ago and became the it-girl lipgloss. I could never bring myself to buy it, but I lucked into a Sephora gift card this month and bought one in the shade Peachy. I’ve been wearing it nonstop.
Necessaire Lip Balm - Love this one, too. It has a metal applicator, which feels nice and a slight minty scent.
Maison Louis Marie candle - A well-priced candle that burns evenly and smells incredible. It’s more than halfway done and I miss it already.
Flamingo Estate Petrichor Candle - Now sold-out (it’s a limited edition scent Flamingo Estate releases in January), but this has been burning in my bathroom for a bit and I have been obsessed. It has notes of Amber, Eucalyptus, Myrrh and Vetiver—it’s a fresh, grounding scent.
Ashley & Co. Yulepine Candle - Great throw and has all the scent notes I like.
Camp Snap Super 8 - We brought this to Jamaica to capture our trip and loved pulling it out during drives and random moments on the beach. It’s rare that C wants any parts of documenting things—I’m usually the one taking photos—but she loved using this, which is saying something. It’s superlight and easy to use—I suspect we’ll be toting it around all summer.
Aestura Moisturizer - I ran out of my go-to CosRX moisturizer a few weeks ago but decided to test this after going to a preview with the brand’s PR company. I really adore the feel and am happy with how moisturized it makes my skin feel. I don’t have the typical tight feeling I get during the winter and skipped my usual bout of winter eczema altogether, which I think is due to this. I’ve also been using the hydration mist, which is really nice too.
Clinique Body Comfort - My current favorite body butter, found while testing products for a large story for Strategist.
Allies of Skin Sunscreen - Every time I wear this, people compliment me on my skin.
Nairobi Wrapping Lotion - I’ve been using this on my slickback buns and blown our braid outs for the past few months and have been loving the results.
Lands End Tote - I’m a Lands End tote truther. It has more built-in storage than the LL Bean tote and I love the small size, which fits books and not a laptop. It’s cheaper, too. Mine is also monogrammed, which I like because I can’t resist something with my name on it.
Wish List
These now-sold out pony hair heels from Topshop
This v-neck cotton sweater that Ali Labelle posted about. I like the Marine color too.
These brown Relax Lacrosse pants
This nipped-waist barn jacket from Eloquii
While watching Hanging Up, I noticed the trench Meg Ryan was wearing, which felt pulled together but still a bit relaxed. I’ve been searching for versions of it since. My search has turned up this one from Gap.
An unnecessarily expensive but apparently perfect white tee.
Artwork by Sahara Longe
Contrast piping is everywhere and I’m loving it. I want this bathing suit from SoSo, which fits the bill.
I’m obsessed with cotton sweaters at the moment. I have my eye on this cotton crewneck from J Crew. Also into this one from Free People, which is a little slouchier.
Expense Report
Cleaning services because we left our apartment in a hurry and my aunt was staying the night and needed it to be nice when she arrived.
Three books
Notes to a Black Woman by Francoise Ega, trans. by Emma Ramadan
God’s Country by Percival Everett
Miss Ophelia by Mary Burnett Smith
These heels from Desigual.
$2200 to Princess for our near-weeklong stay
A cart from The Real Real, including this shirt from Paloma Wool and this sweater from Jenni Kayne.
Lots of oatmeal raisin cookies
Until next time.
Thank you for stating the TRUTH with You've Got Mail. I watched it recently for the first time and couldn't believe that it was a cult classic? A woman whose small bookstore closed, fell in love with the man responsible, and we're supposed to see it as a win, even though she—seemingly—never got her store back??? Color me CONFUSED.
She has been wearing the Dior lip oil non stop and it looks fab!