Final File_13

January in review.

January was overwhelming. There was no amount of preparation that shielded me from the world we’ve crossed into. It’s tempting to say this is the world we’ve always lived in, and sure, in many ways this is true. But this is something markedly darker. The rights that I was born with are being called into question and every quiet part said out loud. More troubling still, is the business-as-usual energy from people who claimed devastation in November. I wonder if they aren’t horrified at being represented by someone who wants to revive Jim Crow-era racial hierarchies and calls that merit. That goodness and intelligence and grace belongs to the people it always has. What’s keeping me sane is talking about my fears with people who feel similarly, even if that means looking to my left and asking are y’all fucking seeing this?

Thankfully everyone is fucking seeing this. There are no indicators that everything will be okay. It’s more likely that the opposite is true. Anyone telling you it will all work out in the end has never been part of a community where things never get better or joy is carved out of unthinkable situations. The more helpful thing, I think, is to remain aware of our personal power and to gather all the good things and vow not to let them go. To watch over your people and stay connected. To bear witness and speak up. If we’re lucky, we survive, and even then, there’s no guarantee we’ll remain whole. Anyway. Onto the post!

Highlights from January

• Connay turned 30! We celebrated by going out for midnight Dim Sum at Jing Li in Long Island City with friends (very good) and dinner at Coqodaq. Our friend Cameron is the sommelier there and he’s very good at what he does. He paired each course with a different champagne and we left tipsy and full. All of the food was yummy, but I really loved the spicy caesar, which I sill think about regularly.

  

• I went on a tea date with Tahirah at Quarters—a multi-hyphenate space (concept store, bar, event space) for multi-hyphenates to break bread (croissants) and drink overpriced beverages. After, still hungry, we went to Balthazar to inhale French food. We talked shit for hours and decided to make it a regular thing. Our next one will be a gallery visit/tea-hang in Bed Stuy.

• This is the year everybody turns 30 so all the birthday festivities feel a little more significant. For Dontai’s birthday we went to Catch and ate french fries (this is a running theme), gigli pasta and beef on a stick. This was also where I was when TikTok went dark, which prompted eye rolls from the entire table.

• My sister came to stay with us for a week. Her first move whenever she comes to my house is to toss her stuff to the ground, ask me if I have food and proceed to bother me for the rest of the day. I insist that it drives me nuts but truthfully I’m always a little sad when she leaves.

• I got the idea for a novella mid-month and have been slowly working on it since. Cheating on my novel with another project is good for evading writer’s block. I realize that it’s not that I can’t write but that I’m writing the wrong thing.

• I went on a friend-date with Asiah to see One of Them Days (highly, highly recommend). We played hooky in the middle of the work day, which I also highly recommend.

• My dad gifted me his collection of CDs—a mix of the Coltranes, Charlie Parker, and Dead Prez.

• One of my high school friends reached out to catch up. We haven’t seen each other in almost ten years and rarely speak so I was surprised he reached out. It all felt so random, but my philosophy is to always take the meeting so I didn’t hesitate in saying yes. I’m glad I did. We spent three hours filling in the past ten years at a lowkey diner on the Upper East Side and playing where are they now? vis a vis our former classmates.

• There are firsts in friendships that feel significant: transitioning from text to voice note, becoming comfortable with the double or triple text, the first FaceTime. Breaking the FaceTime seal is the biggest, imo, and there’s something very exciting about it becoming a regular or causal occurrence. It’s a very specific form of digital intimacy. I crossed that threshold with a friend recently and it feels like we’re charting new friendship territory.

• Neutrogena gifted me a cashmere balaclava and I love her—look!

  

• I’ve been in deep collaboration mode with people I find brilliant, my favorite place to be.

• I’m reading Black Marxism and it’s stretching my brain. Reading has sent me deep into a Roman empire spiral and has me questioning the invention of nationalism. According to a trusty Wikipedia page, being Roman was more about being identified with the empire and fitting in. Feels very proto-American, idk! It’s making me want to read a book about it.

• I recorded a podcast with the hosts of She Well Read and they advised me to start my own. Both are coming soon, stay tuned!

Watching

Less than usual because I spent so much time on TikTok and Reddit. My screen time was shameful.

• Diarra from Detroit (BET+) - I kept hearing about this show Diarra from Detroit and I was initially skeptical—call it network bias—but immediately charmed 30 minutes in. It’s about a woman who goes through a divorce and ends up on a date with a guy she meets on an app. They have an incredible night and then disappears. Rather than licking her wounds, she goes on a quest to find him. The premise is a little zany but the vibes are great and it’s genuinely funny. It reminds a bit of that HBO Max show The Flight Attendant, which I also really enjoyed.

• Jerrod Carmichael: Rothaniel (HBO) - I was transfixed by this comedy special, where Jerrod Carmichael talks about the weight of secrets, both the ones he’s held for others and the one he’s keeping. it’s vulnerable and intimate in the way the art I like is, in the way I want my work to be. In one of my favorite moments he vacillates between the hubris of his career successes and contrasts it with the lack of acceptance from his brother as if to say, I have this so why don’t you love and accept me? As if material things are the metric for whether people will love you or not. And I get it. In this capitalist society we are told that money is power, that the money we have, the more resources we possess, the less reason anyone should have to reject you. It's an ideology I recognize and admittedly some part of me believes that if I make more money or amass more status or publish some cool thing that no one will ever reject me again. that it will be harder, somehow, for them to leave or to hurt me because they’ll need me. it’s a fallacy, this belief. and to tie your self worth to your material possessions is a dangerous thing. Especially because someone having something has never made me like them more. I don’t know why I imagine it’d work in the reverse. Anyway. I liked this and would recommend. Clearly it made me think and reflect.

• Mr and Mrs Smith (Prime) - I’m back here, on episode six, specifically. It’s the one where John and Jane go to therapy and they have an argument so nasty, so below-the-belt I wondered if Donald had a beef to settle in real life. I really like the writing in this and as I’ve said before I love the set design, so I was happy to be back in this world. The nice thing about a rewatch is that you’re an informed viewer, so there’s no pressure to be surprised or delighted.

• Kings of Tupelo (Netflix) - Elvis was born in Tupelo, Mississippi a fact that has shaped its culture. Everyone has a story about him and being an Elvis impersonator is a quick way to become a local celebrity. One of those impersonators KC, a local man prone to conspiracy theories who becomes a prime suspect in a presidential assassination attempt. It’s zany and entertaining. One of the more fun docus I’ve watched in recent memory.

• One of Them Days (in theaters) - I was laughing so hard in the theater I’m pretty sure Asiah was embarrassed to be seen with me. It’s an instant classic and everyone should see it, preferably with your girls.

• Didi (Prime) - In Didi, a young boy navigates growing up in the mid 2000s amid a slew of life changes. It’s cringey and uncomfortable but deeply human. The main character is an asshole in the way teenage boys tend to be and most of his issues are self-inflicted. After watching this I recognized I’m getting older because I sympathized with the mom character more than anything else. Justice for her for real. I am happy a movie like this exists, and I’d definitely watch something else from this director.

• The Big Year (Max) - I’ve seen this movie many times but I love revisiting about once a year. It follows three birders (Jack Black, Steve Martin, and Owen Wilson) who are trying to spot as many birds as they can in a year. I love hobbies taken seriously and this movie is essentially a celebration of that. Overall, a solid film.

• The Wasp (MGM+) - There are so many reasons I don’t like this movie. I could list them but that would mean giving more oxygen to a film I wouldn’t watch again. Skip!

• Mo (Netflix) - Mo is one of the best shows on TV right now, if not ever. It’s about a Palestinian guy living in Houston who’s navigating dating, the immigration system, and trying to get rich. It’s funny and sharp. Season two builds on season one, tackling the same

• Severance (Apple) - Like everyone else I’m watching Severance, the Apple TV show about working at the shadowy Lumon corporation. It’s a show where no one knows exactly what’s happening but everything feels symbolic and important. I’m trying to enjoy each episode equally.

What I Read in January

Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner

I read one book in January, which is atypical. January tends to be my best reading month (I usually read four) but this month I couldn’t lock into anything. I ended up feeling fairly neutral toward this book and was surprised by the way it ended given what the novel seemed to be building to.

Best Bites

- Spicy gigli and branzino at Catch

- C’s blueberry lemonade

- Allison’s funfetti cookies

- Fried chicken and the caesar at coqodaq

- The bread at this random event I went to

- Blackberry sage jam at Quarters

On My Wishlist

- Dining chairs like these

- A jeweled carabiner

- A functioning democracy

- 20K words of my draft

- A cotton Babaa sweater

- Eric Adams’ resignation

Expense Report

The sweater!!

- 15 books (the sale section at Book Culture on 112th is elite), including

• Playworld by Adam Ross

• Segu by Maryse Condé

• The New Negro by Alan Locke

• Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again) by Sly Stone with Ben Greenman

• Notes from No Man’s Land by Eula Biss

• Kara Walker by Vanina Gere

• Ring Shout by P. Djeli Clark

• My Revolutions by Hari Kunzru

• The Delectable Negro by Vincent Woodward

• The First and Last King of Haiti by Marlene L. Daut

• The Other Valley by Scott Alexander Howard

• Bellies by Nicola Dinan

• Talking at Night by Claire Deverley

- A cotton sweater from the Gap (I love her)

- A dress from Banana Republic (doesn’t fit properly, have to return)

A true thing