Final File_25

January in review.

January was bleak all the way around. It was cold and gray and I was short on morale. I’ve been disciplined about not giving myself over to despair—I used the phrase “intelligently overwhelmed” with Mbiye recently—but this month I was consumed by the cruelty of the state and its lack of a conscience while simultaneously attempting to launder its image. I have nothing elegant to say here, I’ve left that to the poets and Sarah Thankam Matthews, but I will say this: we have always been all we got and that gets truer every day. On some level, I’m struggling with the notion that we’re the builders. I’d been delusional in thinking that we are the reapers and not the sowers because it sounds better that way. I’d foolishly thought we could sow in ways that didn’t cost us anything all while knowing it’s salted soil.

I wrote back in November about how people will try to take things from us and we will have to decide what we want to preserve and hold on tight. I have chosen to preserve my capacity for shock, awe and grief by choosing not to look upon the dead with naked eyes. I can bear witness with other senses and I do. I have chosen to grasp humanity in my fists and believe that we have the capability to create a different kind of world—that is, if the sea doesn’t swallow us first.

Anyway, onto the post!

Notes from January

• We spent New Year’s Day at Crystal’s, where we ate black eyed peas, greens and cornbread. It was my first time having black eyed peas. I spent much of my childhood and nascent adulthood being a picky eater. If you asked my friends what I liked it’d be some version of chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks and french fries. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve branched out. Now, I push myself to eat at least one bite of something before dismissing it outright. Turns out I liked black eyed peas—they remind me of an earthier pinto bean. Since my experiment, I’ve requested that Connay make oxtail and black eyed peas—I don’t know if it’ll turn out but it sounds yummy in my head. While we were there, I also learned how to do the hustle (Crystal is from Detroit) and learned that there’s a whole other electric slide that people from Detroit do, which has extra moves and is done to a deep cut (at least to me) deep cut Stevie Wonder song, “My Eyes Don’t Cry”. Now I want to go to Detroit and experience it IRL.

• Lou was in town from Mexico City so I made it a priority to see them. We grabbed dinner at Fish Cheeks one night and another we had a movie night where they made me the cutest fruit plate with all my favorites. Perfect, truly.

• C turned 31 and I headed to Stray Vintage, a record store and vintage home decor shop, to buy her a gift. I meant to drop in but ended up talking to the owner Danny for hours. I visit once a quarter, probably, and we always trip into some conversation about music or the state of the world. It’s one of my favorite ways to spend an afternoon. I also discovered P.F. Candle Co’s new hi-fi incense while I was there, which has quickly become a favorite. I’ve been burning the Vetiver scent faithfully and have already gifted a box to Alex.

  

• For C’s birthday we went to dinner at Daphne’s. Later in the week, we did karaoke with a handful of friends and dinner at Soothr, a Thai restaurant that recently opened a second location in Long Island City. The food is incredible, the drinks are yummy, the space is gorgeous and we were in the best company.

• We hosted Jade and Nicole for dinner this month, which sparked a spate of home decor projects. I love an excuse to spruce up the apartment and do things we’d been meaning to get to. Our biggest thing was painting the bathroom, which was a dingy white. I decided on a deep brown and spent the week before trying to decide between swatches. In the end we were between Velvet Plum by Benjamin Moore and Tea Leaf by Sherwin Williams. We went with Tea Leaf, a gorgeous deep chocolate brown. We also had the good sense to hire a painter, who did an incredible job. Happy to share his information with anyone local to NYC—just shoot me an email! We also hired a new cleaning service—Team Clean—for the visit, which ended up freeing up time for us to do other things. Would also recommend—and if you mention me, the owner Candace graciously offered some money off the first service.

• We also impulse bought a chaise for the end of the bed, which has become a laundry spot. It’s a little too big but incredibly comfy so I’m hesitant to get rid of it.

• Our friend Cameron opened his wine bar, Crybaby, so we went to the soft opening mid-month. The wine is incredible—I had my favorite pinot noir in recent memory—as are the drinks. There’s a frozen Naked and Famous on the menu that nearly knocked us flat, I can’t wait to sip that all summer long.

• We had our first book club and it went incredibly well. More on our thoughts very soon.

  

• Nicole sent us cookies from Fat Butter, a small-batch bakery her and Jade love. The maple oatmeal raisin was a revelation.

• Like everyone else we were snowed in. C requested lasagna, the one thing I know how to make, so I immediately agreed, given that she makes literally every other meal we eat. Jade happened to be making lasagna soup, so we made our respective meals together over Facetime. 10/10 recommend cooking with your friends.

• Carrie hosted us for hot pot at her apartment and it was a great time.

  

• I’ve been back in the gym in earnest this month and it has done wonders for my mood. I’ve also made a dark deal with the stairmaster. It’s punishing, but I feel accomplished when I finish. I don’t know how people are running on that thing.

• I’ve taken to wearing my cashmere sweater from Aritzia around the house. It’s cozy and also feels less slouchy than the free t-shirts I acquired in college or my Hanes. It’s also less suffocating than my sweatshirts, which are mostly made from a thick, heavy cotton.

Reading

I read two books this month—The Wilderness by Angela Flournoy and another I’m reviewing. Writing about both more extensively so more on these later!

Watching

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days - I’ve been sucked back into the 90 Day industrial complex. It’s a particularly unhinged season where everyone is diabolical in one way or another. There’s the elderly white woman with a love addiction who has taken up with a Nigerian man that’s clearly wrapped her up in a romance scam and forces her to wear a wig (mind you she’s hiding a long lesbian past!!), the woman who’s been lying about her parents siphoning her money for many years, the Turkish man with a gambling addiction, the Black ginger who’s fallen into the manosphere—the list goes on. Usually I have a couple I like and want to see make it, but this season I have zero allegiances and lots of judgment.

Mayor of Kingstown - C loves this show about a prison town and its gray market economy so we’re watching together. It’s essentially Scandal but with Jeremy Renner.

Zootopia 2 - That’s Oscar-nominated Zootopia 2 to you. In the latest installment we’re reunited with the fox and the bunny who, since solving the big case that saved the city, have gone from pet to threat. The department isn’t accepting of the unconventional duo and are eager to go back to how things were, where the big mammals run the show. Of course our overzealous bunny isn’t willing to stand by while crime is happening around her, which kicks off another adventure. This time, the pair confront species discrimination, gentrification and some internal strife as they grapple with the fact that the same dynamic that helps them to solve crimes may also be jeopardizing their friendship. It’s a well-told and emotionally complex story, though I will say the twists felt deeply obvious in a way that felt less satisfying than the first movie.

Unlocked - This documents a prison experiment where a highly restrictive jail gives inmates privileges based on good behavior and cooperation. Many of the privileges, like a commissary allowance and free phone calls seem to be common sense and only exist to create another source of income for the jail. So that’s bleak.

Traitors US - It’s a truth universally known that Traitors US is an inferior show. The contestants are overall dimmer and the gameplay tends to be clouded by the existing alliances outside of the show. This season, the contestants have separated themselves based on their previous work. There’s the “gamers” (Survivor and Big Brother alums) and the Housewives and then everybody else. The Housewives say unhinged things like “everybody’s out to get housewives,” or “housewives don’t kill housewives,” which is so nonsensical it makes my head spin. This is a generally dim bunch but there have been a few moments of exciting gameplay—I’m interested to see how this season plays out.

His and Hers - A mess!

When Harry Met Sally - Carrie came over to hang out and let us know she’d never seen When Harry Met Sally. It was my second watch and even more charming the second time around.

Tell Me Lies - So diabolical I have a group chat titled “TML Support Group” with Lacey and Jaime. This season we’re back with this diabolical friend group and everyone is up to their nonsense. Lucy is reaching levels of insanity that have me wondering when someone will perform an exorcism. It also feels like Stephen is poisoning the well—where in earlier seasons they were his victims, now it feels like they’re all slowly becoming worse versions of themselves. Unfortunately, I’m glued to the TV.

Charlie’s Angels - Still one of the best movies of all time. This go-round, I noticed that Melissa McCarthy is in it, so that was fun!

The Mastermind - As y’all know, I love a heist movie. This one follows an unemployed man in Boston who decides to rob an art museum. It strips heist movies of the usual glamour, where the viewers become accomplices, thrilled by the payoff of the caper. There’s this celebration of the maverick who manages to outsmart the institution. This film turns that on its head, focusing instead on the reverberating effects of the main character, J.B., and his choices. I really liked it. Also it looks great.

The Night Manager - Tahirah recommended this to me, and it’s right up my alley. It’s about a hotel manager and former British soldier that gets swept into the world of intelligence. I love a spy show so this very much scratches that itch. I’m also a Hugh Laurie fan, he’s very versatile and fun as a villain.

Bridgerton - I wasn’t impressed with season four, which follows the second son, Benedict, who is resistant to marriage. He ends up falling for someone near-immediately, upending any characterization that suggested he was attached to his freedom and art career. What ensues is a Cinderella-esque storyline that I was quickly bored by. I will say, the last 30 seconds of episode four made me gasp, so I’m open to whatever’s left of this season. Nothing compares to season two!

Wish List

• I’m really loving a low-profile sneaker at the moment. Particularly these Wales Bonner ones and these from Miista.

• A cool stool from Lulu and Georgia

• I’m in search of a shoe cabinet for a wall that’s a little less than 30 inches. I could go custom, or I could try this cabinet from West Elm.

• A great, extra-long coat from Calvin Klein

• This canvas tote that was floating around in the group chat at work (the last thing I need is another tote)

• Still on the nightstand hunt. Current fixations are this one and this floating cabinet

• A floating shelf for the bathroom. I also like this wall shelf from Fern Living for the same spot.

• Loving this record storage from Simple Wood Goods

• Not a watch person, but I think this silver Casio would look nice on C.

• This Staud dress

• I have my heart set on this credenza from CB2—I think it’s the piece that will pull my living room together

• This Prada travel mug dupe

Expense Report

• A vintage Brooklyn Museum print

• Vintage bowl from Stray Vintage (pictured above)

• A new mirror for the bathroom

• A paint job ($250)

• A new bathing suit from Goldie Swimwear—which, hilariously, me and Alex both bought unbeknownst to each other.

• Sandals, a sweater, and a skirt from The RealReal

• An IKEA Pax that has to be returned

Until next month!