Final File_17

May in review.

There’s a two-and-a-half week window in May, when the sun starts to set a little later and we have a spate of nice days, that I have the urge to be outside. I’m a homebody by nature and like to spend my time in the three square miles around my house but during this blink of time, I want to be everywhere. To see and be seen. To put on makeup and buy new clothes and spritz on perfume even though I know I’ll have to scrub it off later or it’ll give me a migraine. I was out so much that when one of my friends Facetimed another, the first reaction was oh you got Tembe outside? Needless to say it was an event. I loved every second of it. Now back inside I go. Sort of. I keep sending C parties I want to shake ass at and jazz nights where I’d like to sip wine. With that said I’ve been writing more and reading less but enjoying soaking up life like a sponge. Calling it material but also calling it living (it’s absolutely material). This month I’m committing to a strict writing routine and bedtime. And by commitment I mean intending. And by that I mean I said it to myself because it’s the beginning of the month but we’ll see where it shakes out at the end. Anyway, onto the post!

Highlights From May

• I kicked off the month sort of crashing a birthday party for an acquaintance thanks to Alex, who texted me in the middle of the day and asked if I wanted to go with. I said yes because I’m always in the mood to see her, especially if other gay people are involved. The mood was right: dim lighting, wine and chips on every available surface. It was the kind of night that made me think I should go out more often, which I absolutely took to heart.

• My former English professor and thesis advisor, Dr. King, put Homebodies on her women in American literature syllabus, I class I took nearly a decade ago. It was a full circle moment. Surreal for me because I want nothing more than to be read closely and carefully. To discuss what people are seeing, how they’re making the work their own. I asked Dr. King to give me a sneak peek of some of their topics and I was thrilled by their varied ways into the novel. One student said the scene where Mickey was in the closet (literally, physically) helped him with his own coming out. I can’t think of anything I love more.

• In other Homebodies happenings, someone recently told me they loved the book at a party and then a few days later the woman standing next to me at a concert said she liked the book and the biscuits. Stuff like this means a lot to me as I work through this next draft and reminds me to finish so I can meet my readers on the page again.

• Yaminah came over to help me prep for Sundays. We giggled and packed boxes and wrote tags. Everyone has shown up in various ways for our business over the past few years and I’m grateful.

• Went to a watercolor class with Rae. It came out badly but it’s good for my perfectionist brain to do things I’m not good at.

• My first party of the season was Queeribean, which I randomly saw on Tiktok only to later find out a few of my friends would be there. The music was good and the people watching was superb, my two reasons for going out in the world.

  

  Me, pre-party, cosplaying being outside

• I turned on Temptation Island thinking I’d watch it to fall asleep and ended up pulling an all-nighter. It’s my first one since I was in college watching those first few seasons of Prison Break. I kept watching things unfold and saying when is this damn bonfire?! because I was horrified by the behavior I was seeing on the show.

• Went to karaoke in Flushing to celebrate Sean’s birthday. Highly recommend renting out a room with no windows and a stripper pole with your friends.

• My friend Sydney had a birthday party and the vibes were immaculate!

• Went to see Durand Bernarr perform at Warsaw. He’s incredible. I’d never been to that venue before but I like it. Beats Terminal 5 by a mile.

• A perfect May evening: an early book talk at Dear Friends Books before meeting up with C and heading to Babe, a queer wine event. It was a beautiful room filled with gorgeous people—what I would call high profile lesbians. I need a flow chart of everyone who has had sex with each other.

• Saw my grandma and great-aunt and mom for Mother’s Day. I am lucky to be living in a moment where I can witness my grandmother and her sister giggling, talking about how Macy’s is closed and rehashing 20-year old gossip for hours on end.

• I did an event at the Free Black Women’s Library, a reading room and event space in Brooklyn where you can take a book and leave a book in exchange. I grabbed Honey Hush, an anthology of Black women’s humor. My friend Mal came, so after the event C, her and I had lunch at Peaches Hot House, which happens to be the first place Mal and I ate the first time we met. Post-lunch, C headed to a graduation party with her coworkers and Mal and I spent the rest of the day together, belting to Rihanna (played out loud on a phone because her charger had a short) and filling each other in on our lore. It was great.

• The Scorpio new moon had the virgo girls stressed! That’s all I’ll say on that but just know we were not well.

• Met up with Adrienne, who was once a coworker and is now one of the loves of my life. She’s moving to Jersey and out of her beautiful brownstone, which actually inspired a location in my next novel. We did a bit of a goodbye tour, revisited our favorite bar, where we spent most Tuesdays in the summer of 2023. When we met two years ago we clicked near-instantly, people constantly mistook us for best friends, which I owe to the fact that we got close in the way kids do. I pretty much declared we’d be friends after meeting on a zoom and she graciously agreed. Fast forward two years and I’m three cocktails deep crying in the bar, sad she’s leaving and how different our worlds look. I’ll miss her, but she’s close, and her parents have a pool.

• One of the many things we talked about is that I’m no longer conflating truth with goodness, during a recent conversation about the subject Mbiye said we shouldn’t link the two. By disrupting the relationship between truth and good, it allows me to move toward truth without being preoccupied with how it reflects on me and the way I see myself. Sometimes being focused on being a good person or doing the right thing can obscure the truth, pushing it deep down because it runs counter to our own self-conceptions. I’ve been meditating on that a lot recently, and am excited to see what I land on next.

• Asiah and I’s biannual dinner at Birds of a Feather. We ordered food to go for our spouses and agreed that it was basically a double date.

• My sister called me fake crying so I would buy her Croods 2. It worked.

• Went down to Richmond for my aunt’s birthday cookout and it was magical. I love Richmond. The weather was perfect, the food was good (C fried the fish) and the vibes were immaculate, It had everything a good cookout should—gogo music, impromptu pickup games of basketball with the little cousins, little kids running around playing made up games, debating politics with my godfather, talking politics with my cousin’s best friend, heart to hearts with my cousin-twin, a last minute trip to the grocery store for ice. I felt present and relaxed. I needed it!

• Made sorrel and plantain biscuits for ITA Leisure—I love that we’re doing more biscuit collaborations. On that same note, we did a pop up at Shanklin Hall in DC, our first in the area. That technically happened June 1st, so more on that next month.

  

  the biscuits!

Reading

Still reading Friends of the Museum!

Watching

• The Takedown: American Aryans (HBO) - This four-part documentary about the Aryan Brotherhood was wild. Like other organized crime groups, the violence is brutal and the women are treated horribly. It was crazy!

• Polyfamily (Max) - I watched a single episode of this dumpster fire and was sad for Alicia (I think that’s her name) who was the least favorite. You’d think that more partners would mean more attention but in this situation it meant the reinforcing of a hierarchy where one wife was at the very bottom. I gave up after episode one and watched the TikTok drama recaps instead.

• Breaking (Hulu) - In Breaking, a Marine war vet is pushed to his limit and holds up a bank when his benefits are taken away. John Boyega is incredible in this, and after watching I realized he’s one of my favorite actors. Michael K. Williams (RIP) is in this too. I was so moved by the film that I Googled after I finished, only to find out it’s a true story, which made it all worse. I would recommend!

• Temptation Island (Netflix) - This is a cursed show, and the people who go on are clearly adrenaline junkies for whom rollercoasters and cliff jumping no longer work. After watching it, I’ve concluded that people can only meet you as deep as they’re willing to meet themselves. It’s also wild to watch people play victim in situations in order to absolve their own poor, twisted decision making. Even though I flew through this season, I don’t think I could watch it again.

• Untold: Shooting Guard (Netflix) - I was living in the DMV during the gun in the locker room incident so it was interesting to go behind the scenes and get the full story. It’s incredibly sad and Gilbert Arenas is actually insane. His perspective on the story, after everything, showed me that some people will never take full accountability for the impact of their actions. He’s sleeping well at night as if he didn’t fully shift the trajectory of someone’s life. Wild!

• Untold: The Liver King (Netflix) - I also watched the Liver King episode. He’s insane.

• Forever (Netflix) - I liked this YA romcom, but I was admittedly less invested in Justin and Keisha and more involved in the mom. I think that means I’m getting older. I loved how Mara created this multidimensional woman who feels so deeply human. I get her. I also know I’m getting old because whenever the kids would get freaky I would be overwhelmed, like hearing about my little brother kissing a girl (ew).

• How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days (Paramount+) - I rewatched this because I forgot about it. Oh Andie. Andie, I’m not like other girls, Anderson. This is a movie about pretty privilege, with confusing counter-stakes and a faulty thesis. It’s charming anyway. My favorite characters are the corporate lesbians (Michael Michelle and Shalom Harlow), who are capable and deeply unimpressed by the hot shot with no ideas. Frosting? Anyway. I loved Micahel Michelle’s dress at the gala, so much so I’ve been trying to track it down because I need to know who makes it. If anyone knows the answer, let me know.

• Nonna’s (Netflix) - All of Netflix’s movies look like they were filmed on the same day. I wonder why that is. Anyway, this movie is based on Nonna’s restaurant on Staten Island where grandmothers make food as if you were sitting at their table. It’s a brilliant concept. The movie itself is fine.

• Andor (Disney+) - My dad is a total Star Wars head. He’s been telling me to watch Andor for the better part of a year and I finally listened. It’s incredible. I’m invested.

• Sirens (Netflix) - It was good until it wasn’t. I love shows about complex sister relationships and this had that in spades. The ending tossed the entire show off a cliff.

• Pantheon (Netflix) - Mbiye recommended I tap into this and I’m glad I did. I binged the show over two days. It’s deeply philosophical, thinking about what makes someone human and what composes a soul. This show takes big swings and lands it. By the end I just stared at the wall and started sharpening my anti-AI rhetoric. I think everyone should watch.

Best Bites

• Pesto cauliflower at Bar Camillo

• Cheesy cauliflower at a different restaurant I don’t remember the name of

• A kale and quinoa chicken thigh salad from Bolivian Llama Party

• Duck fried rice from Birds of a Feather

• Fried catfish from Cornbread

• My wife’s fried fish

• Carrot cake from Ukrop’s

On the Wish List

This Ester Manas dress???? Like!

• A new rug for the bedroom. My top contender is this one from Arvin Olano x Rugs USA. On that same note, Carrie and I noticed that they’ve scrubbed Arvin from the site—is there drama? Does anyone know? I’ve also been skulking on Etsy.

• Sandals—I want a pair from A. Emery. I like these, and these.

• Which I would wear with this tank dress.

• This dress from Ester Manas.

• A house—my sister and I have been flirting with the idea of buying something in Baltimore.

• A Spinelli Kilcollin ring. We had a custom appointment when we were shopping for engagement rings and I fell in love. I think I’ll buy myself this one when I sell my next book.

• Lots of stuff from Gap.

Expense Report

• Stuff from H&M - mostly returning, but I did keep this top, which is apparently a mini-dress

• Aveeno body lotion (my favorite!)

• Sundays supplies

• Croods 2

• Panoxyl and Differin because I’m having the worst adult acne known to man

  Until next time.