It’s safe to say September was a blur. I turned 29 (!) and got married (!!) all in the same weekend. It was equal parts joyous and anxiety-inducing. I’m happy that it’s behind me but also wish I could do parts of it all over again. The events themselves looked beautiful, like they’d been plucked directly from my Virgoan visions (and in many ways they were) but emotionally I was scattered, dealing with last minute cancellations and small details going awry. But there were lots of beautiful surprises too and moments that are forever etched in my brain, like my first look with C, seeing my dad cry for the first time and my mom’s reaction to a surprise mother-daughter dance, which turned into our entire family singing at the top of their lungs.
With that said, I’m definitely looking forward to returning to the normal rhythms of life, which is why I started my day writing this and am putting myself back on a strict writing schedule of 2,000 words a day, five days a week. Today is day one and writing this doesn’t count. Wish me luck. Onto the post!
Highlights - standout moments from September
Went to Record Room on a Tuesday with Noor and C. I’ve been once before for a birthday party but it was nice to go out on a weekday night and sing with strangers. Highly recommend if you want to hang with a 25+ crowd and sway to music you listen to while deep cleaning your house.
I generally avoid fashion week things but being on the beauty beat I often get invited to fragrance dinners. This year, Diptyque hosted a dinner at the Botanical Gardens in a stunning greenhouse to celebrate their new line of perfumes Les Essences de Diptyque. All of the scents are quite good but my favorites are Lilyphea and Lunamaris. I wore them layered for my wedding day and got lots of compliments. Lilyphea has this fresh, crisp scent, that smells like skin fresh out of the shower. I’ve been describing it as Glossier You for people who bathe. Lunamaris complicates and balances Lilyphea by offering some spicy, woody elements. It has notes of pink peppercorn and amber, notes I’ve gravitated to since I was buying my fragrances at Bath and Body Works (the real remember Midnight Pomegranate and Sensual Amber!).
I went to the US Open with Perricone MD and ate lobster rolls while watching tennis and chatting about the minutiae of wedding stuff with other writers and editors. I rarely go to events so it’s nice to catch up with people who I only see in these settings a few times a year.
Trying on my wedding dresses for the first time with Carrie. I didn’t try on a single dress throughout this process because I knew I would do something custom. I ended up going with Ellie Misner, a London-based designer who specializes in couture for all bodies. We connected over email and then proceeded to text our way through the beginning stages of the design process. She flew to New York back in May to fit me with some rough versions of what we’d been texting about but I didn’t see the final looks until they were delivered in early September. I’m glad I trusted Ellie with my day because she absolutely nailed the brief and I couldn’t have worn anything or anyone else.
Toile to final! 
Toile to final! I went through a pretty devastating friendship breakup in the middle of the year and spent much of the summer reeling. That friendship raised me and changed me and I’m grateful to her because she made it possible to love other people with all of me and without fear of being rejected for the parts of myself I’m still learning to accept. I’m still working through a lot of the heartbreak there but what I’ve gained in the process is a lot of new friends. All that said, I went to a Virgo meetup organized by my friend Siaira, where we sat in Fort Greene park and talked about love and took selfies and ate pretzels. Naturally we all decided we should start some kind of podcast.
Four Virgos looking at each other saying exactly In other new friend news, C and I went to my friend Alex’s birthday party and got to bear witness to the community she’s cultivated. I love the way her people love her and I’m excited that I get to love her too. She has this magnetic energy (it’s the Aries placements, I’m convinced!) and is so much fun to be around.
That same night, we went to a cocktail hour at The Chelsea Hotel to celebrate our friends Madison and Lex getting married. They had a civil ceremony for family members that can’t make it to their destination wedding followed by a dinner and drinks for their close community. It was beautiful and a manifestation of their thoughtfulness. In two weeks we’ll go to Portugal for their big celebration.
A double date with Uti and Cristal. We went to Miss Ada and caught up over pita and labneh and split a branzino four ways. We always promise to hang out more often and somehow that’s always six months later, but we’re going to do better this time, I can tell.
I spent my birthday with some of my closest friends. We went to Le Diplomate for lunch and spent the evening at Madison’s mom’s house (not married Madison, just turned 30 Madison). They made me a bonfire and my cousin Kaylah bought me carrot cake. We all got too lit and laughed about nothing. All in all, a great way to ring in 29.
So many sweet pre-wedding and birthday texts. I feel so adored by the people I adore.
My cousin doing wedding-themed nails
A random side quest with my uncle who flew in from El Salvador for my wedding. While C was doing brunch with our friends in DC, I got a facial at Sarah Akram Skincare with Dana Carlson (highly highly recommend) and then texted my uncle to see if he wanted to get lunch. We ended up at Rocklands barbecue with my grandmother. He was supposed to drop me off at the hotel after to prep for the wedding but we ended up helping his friend with his very cool vintage Ford instead. It was the side quest I needed to shake off pre-wedding overwhelm.
Marrying C. It is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Some wedding highlights:
I loved so many things about our ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle to “The Makings of You” by Curtis Mayfield, which is the song he used to sing to me as a baby. He sang it to me as we walked down the aisle and wouldn’t let me go until the song ended. That will live in my memory forever and is one of the highlights of my life. Our best friend Noor married us and wrote the most beautiful ceremony script. In lieu of traditional vows we read the poem “A Journey” by Nikki Giovanni, which felt like an apt way to bind your life to someone else’s. It’s about commitment and equality rather than promises of forever, which falls short in its tangibility. Forever is a void. A place for absolutes and always. I wanted our vows to reflect love and commitment as I understand it, and the poem did that. We got married between massive pillars of smoke bush designed by Sarah of Pomona Floral and afterward ate vanilla chai cake from Lunaria Cakes (so yummy) and toasted with champagne. It was a nod to my grandmother’s wedding ceremony 50-something years earlier, which happened in the middle of the day in a church basement.
Afterward we had a big cookout in Upper Marlboro at the Billingsley House. It’s on 400+ acres and has these insane views of the Patuxent River. This was my opportunity to really incorporate the DMV into the weekend so we had Iverson Mall snickerdoodle cookies as wedding favors and had a popular gogo band, TOB, perform. It was so DMV and so us and was quite literally the most fun I’ve ever had.
Dancing with my grandmother to Gogo.
It was supposed to rain on our wedding day and I spent the majority of the day stressed about it, but the sun came out the second I walked down the aisle. It felt like a little nod of approval from the universe. I spent the months leading up to the wedding lightly manifesting good weather. C and I would walk around Astoria Park and whenever the weather was particularly nice I would say, “if the weather is like this on the wedding day, that would be perfect.” And that’s what happened. Thank you to the powers that be.
Surprising my mom with a mother-daughter dance at our reception the following day. We danced to “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree, which has always been our song. She used to sing it to me when she was pregnant and all throughout my childhood and I can’t hear it without thinking of her. The second she realized what song it was, she burst into tears and so did I. We got about halfway through the song before we grabbed my sister to dance with us and then my brother. Eventually we pulled my dad in and then my baby sister and stepmom. By the end we were all hugging and sobbing because we’ve become this blended family that is inextricable and bonded for life.
C and I did our first dance to Always and Forever. The song is by Heatwave but we danced to the Luther version because we love him. Everyone sang while we danced and I felt so wrapped in love it was transcendent.
My photographer, Faith Couch. It was Faith’s first wedding (she’s a fine art photographer) and I chose her because I love the way she captures intimacy. She can sense moments of connection and I needed someone who spoke the same language as me to commemorate my day. She knocked it out of the park.
A stunning photo of my stepmom and baby sister My father-in-law telling me to “go get my wife,” and “tell my wife [insert thing here]”
Another moment for the *dress*
I was very sad to take this off Falling asleep on my grandmother’s floor while Bringing Down the House played in the background.
An impromptu dinner at La Devozione with Rae, Olu, C and Noor. These days I see my friends multiple times a week and I love everything about that.
Joseline’s Cabaret Sundays.
Lowlights
My Diptyque Lunamaris shattering on the sidewalk on my wedding day. The pain! The agony!
There were a lot of emotionally tough moments that I won’t write about but just know your girl has been going through it!
I can’t dance and there is so much video evidence of this as a result of my wedding weekend.
What I Read
I didn’t finish a single book this month. So we’ll try again next time. I’m currently reading Colored Television by Danzy Senna and 60 pages in I’m feeling very unsure.
Things I Watched
I did watch lots of TV, but less than normal!
The Good
Slow Horses (Apple TV)
We’re back with another season of debauchery and intrigue from my favorite MI6 unit. This season River Cartwright is once again embroiled in a scandal, this time with his grandfather at the center. I can’t say too much more without ruining things but I’m enjoying it so far. It’s one of my favorite shows for a reason.
English Teacher (Hulu)
I love a comedy and English Teacher is funny! The humor is very 2020s in a good way and I like that the humor gets dark but maintains levity.
Joseline’s Cabaret Texas (Zeus)
I do not recommend this show to anyone but I watch it religiously. As a child of the Jerry-Springer era I can’t resist the clarion call of a show where low stakes arguments devolve into 30 seconds of nonsensical fighting. But I don’t watch Joseline’s Cabaret because it’s essentially stripper fight club, I watch because it’s a world unto itself. A world where Joseline Hernandez, the breakout star of Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta is a deity and the rules of the club extend to the house. It’s a world where alliances are forged and broken within minutes and at least once an episode someone will say “that bitch is not my friend.” A universe where every episode begins with a music video for the worst song you’ve ever heard that somehow gets better as the episodes pile up. A show where everyone can shake ass but can’t remember an eight-count. It is insane and something that could only happen on Zeus. The show also get gayer as the seasons go on so, there’s that.
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (Hulu)
I was hesitant to recommend this because I feel like I’m inadvertently tithing to the Mormon church but I loved it. I binged it in a single sitting and have been eating up the surrounding gossip. I’m a Demi stan. Taylor’s vulnerability ended up working for her and Whitney needs help. I think I liked it because these women are in a similar age range to me and I recognized the constantly shifting nexuses of power that exist in a group of women where everyone spends time together but doesn’t necessarily like each other. Like all season one’s of a reality show, everyone doesn’t know how to be cagey and secretive because they want to make good TV. And it’s great TV. There’s so much I could say but that would be a post on its own. The big, overarching question though: will Momtok survive this?
Great Pottery Throw Down (Max)
I love a show that feels soothing but high stakes. That’s exactly what you get with the Great Pottery Throw Down, which is spiritually similar to the Great British Bakeoff. There’s a genuine twist of anxiety when their pieces go into the kiln because there are so many ways things can turn out. Sometimes it goes well, other times it cracks, sometimes it isn’t what they expect. One of the judges openly weeps at beautiful pieces. It’s great. I highly recommend it.
Only Murders in the Building (Hulu)
The season is improving! It’s campier than season’s past. I still can’t stand Selena Gomez as an actress.
The Fine
His Three Daughters (Netflix)
I watch films for enjoyment as much as craft, and so while I enjoyed this film about three estranged sisters who reunite at their father’s deathbed, what I really appreciated about it was the way it revealed information. This was the epitome of show don’t tell and allowed the character’s relationship dynamics to reveal information. It’s instructive for me as I think about the things I’m working on and was overall a solid watch.
Tell Me Lies (Hulu)
My best friend Lacey got me into this show, which is about two friend groups that collide when a bunch of them start dating. It’s based on the novel Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering and is about a couple—Lucy and Stephen—who are in a toxic relationship that ends up affecting everyone around them. What I like most about this show is that it realistically portrays a manipulative person who lies in subtle ways to get what they want and control the people around them as well as their perceptions. The outcomes are dramatic but not wholly unrealistic and I appreciated the use of relationships to push the plot. I also like that we have these friends in the same life stage but no one’s life is perfect. I can’t imagine them wanting to trade lives with one another, which adds to the realism. All that said, Lucy is truly insufferable and Stephen is not cute enough to cause this much mess.
Surface (Apple TV)
Once you’ve seen one Gugu Mbatha-Raw thriller you’ve genuinely seen them all, but that doesn’t make them unwatchable. If you enjoyed The Girl Before (I liked it enough) you’ll enjoy Surface, which is about a woman named Sophie (Gugu) who wakes up and can’t remember anything about her life. It becomes clear that no one is telling her the full truth and we spend the duration of the show trying to figure out her identity. I didn’t finish it, which is saying something.
Reasonable Doubt (Hulu)
Season two of Reasonable Doubt reunites us with the problematic Jax who is forced to stop compartmentalizing her life when a case hits very close to home. I almost didn't watch season two because of the dumpster fire that was the season one finale (quite literally one of the worst I’ve seen) but I gave it a chance because it’s some of the best sex on TV (episode one, season 6!?). That still stands. The plot line of season two isn’t great but we watch for Morris Chestnut and the general vibes—it’s very light on procedural plot and very heavy on Jax’s facial expressions. It’s a good show to fold laundry to or watch with your mom (asynchronously of course).
The Abysmal
A Perfect Couple (Netflix)
This show was practically designed for me. It has everything I love: Nicole Kidman, a well to-do family with long-held resentments and secrets, a novelist as a lead. I was ultimately disappointed. It just wasn’t good. I wanted so much more for it and from it.
Best Bites
A burger at Le Diplomate
Apple-shaped cheesecake at Fouquet’s
Everything at Carbone
Birthday Monster gelato at Arcobaleno
Snickerdoodle cookies from Great Cookie
Vanilla chai cake from Lunaria
Beef ribs from Rocklands Barbeque
Raspberry peach Celsius
On my Wishlist
The Tory Burch Lee Radziwill cat-eye bag, worn open (as seen on Vogue beauty editor Margaux Anbouba)
Beaded Nike Cortez - spotted on Gabriella Karefa-Johnson’s Instagram story
My phone almost died at an Eloquii dinner and when I asked for a charger my seatmate pulled out a power bank situation that almost fully charged my phone in 45 minutes. Turns out, it was the Nimble Champ Charger and I’ve added it to my list of things to buy.
This dining table from CB2
20K words of my draft!
A good pair of heeled black boots
A tech pouch because I always believe I’m one organizational tool away from getting my life together
Expense Report
Restaurant-style metal table numbers
A linen sign that I’ll never use again
Lots of flowers from Potomac Wholesale flowers
Heels from Dolce Vita (I’m impressed by their wide foot selection!)
Jeffrey Campbell Tiyera Mules in green (a dupe for the Prada ones)
Clip-on earrings from Marjorie Baer via Etsy
Many bangles that didn’t work
An Orire dress for Madison’s wedding
How was your September? I wanna know!
Congrats and congrats!! You look stunning!! <3
"don't pass on the good, because you are waiting on the perfect" thank you to your uncle because I definitely needed to read that!
Belated congratulations to you and C! Y'all looked absolutely stunning :) I'm wishing you both an abundance of happiness and love in this new chapter together ♡ Also, having Iverson Mall cookies and TOB perform at your reception is so iconic!